Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
