You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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