I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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