real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize