The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
