who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
