I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
