Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
