4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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