the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
COCAINE IS GR8
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
