Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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