Just cropdusted the office
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
