i just wanna soil my oats bro
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize