I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
...so i touched it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
