My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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