so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
