FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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