Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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