What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
