please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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