Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize