we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
