He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Come on in and take your pants off
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
