Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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