At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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