sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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