Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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