I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
