i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize