dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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