Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
