How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
