i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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