I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
