put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
