That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We have started to decorate penises.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
