He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
