trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
