You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
