All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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