man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
