Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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