I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
