Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Anyone see the sob who took the piรฑata?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
