the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
