It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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