Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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