she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
