I just pynch a tree in the face
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
