if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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