I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
