We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's always time for handjobs
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
