and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
