We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
