i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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