I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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