After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
