What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize