It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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