Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
