there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
