it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I didn't notice because vodka
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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