Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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