At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Drake has all the answers
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
