Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I sprained my soul last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
