North Korea, Best Korea!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
