im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
