It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
