i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
