Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's shark week go big or go home
You are a genius and a whore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
