I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
