There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
